thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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