So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
