I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
