brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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