i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
