when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize