Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's never too late to be topless.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
