if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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