no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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