just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
