What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
