okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
