would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
