the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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