So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
