There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
