I feel like I'm in dance class right now
youre lurking in front of me
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
