i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
