i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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