I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
