I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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