I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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