its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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