Sorry, I don't speak sober.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize