i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize