i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
