i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
