he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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