He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
