yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
