maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
