i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
