Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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