Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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