what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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