Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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