and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
