never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Sober January is a disaster.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize