You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Randomize
