Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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