i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
