FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
