he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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