He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
