remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize