Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
