I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize