Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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