if i can run in heels then i can drive
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
