insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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