Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
