I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
