You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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