Only a mothe r could love this liver
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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