it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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