Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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