you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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