...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
