i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
